My Biggest Regret Part 2

I am not sure where to begin, as it is a story that has so many facets.

I guess I will start at the beginning.

I had an experience with god when I was about ten years old. I had asked Jesus in my heart and I felt something. It was at a Baptist church where they had shown a film about the crucifixion and resurrection. I do question the whole thing now, later in my life as I was just a child.

My teens years were pretty crazy and I didn't attend a church at all through out this time in my life. At about the age of 21 or 22 I turned to god again, now I do remember feeling like I had something happen to me, like I did meet god.

I am a extremist, I have always been this way. I thought I needed a church where there was excitement, something "happening" I found this in The Potter's House.

I am going to give names of these "churches" that I feel are very abusive, and controlling and at the very root, cults. They go under the names of The Potter's House, Victory Chapel, The Door and New Life. They are all associated with Christian Fellowship Ministries out of Prescott AZ.
If you ever see one of these places in your city, run, please keep your loved ones away! They prey on the young, people who have just moved into new cities and people with addictive personalities.

I have spoken with many people who are now out. Some feel that the beginning stages of the "church" in Rochester was good. "It started out so good but then went hay wire and way off"
I do not believe this. I feel it was a cult the day I walked in til the day I walked out.

My husband and I disagree on this very point. He does not see it the same way I do. Of course why would he? In this organization men are the king, to be revered and worshiped. Woman on the other hand are just a means to get what men want. Ministry, sex, kids and a family. Why is it that Christianity has such a low opinion of woman and that we are so low on the totem pole? It did not matter where we went after we were out of the potter's house, or potty house as I like to call it now.....No matter where we went, woman were viewed as not as smart as men, not to be trusted, the weaker of the two sexes. I did not want to be apart of this type of organized religion and still do not want to be.

When you see people out on the street handing out tracks (little pamphlets) that was....(now cringing) >me. When you hear a rock and roll band playing out in a park, but they have changed all the words to say, get saved, you need Jesus that was....(still cringing) > me. If you have had someone knock on your door and invite you out to a movie or play at a church that was....(completely embarrassed) > me. If it is Halloween and you hear about a great haunted house and you go only to see scenes from hell depicted and the answer for you not to end up there, that was......(omg I still can not believe it) > me.

The potty house is confrontational evagilism. Not, just wait to have the holy spirit lead you, just get in the persons face, tell them exactly how it is, get saved or burn, evangelism. This does not go over well with people. Well I should say we did see some results, but most people, no this does not sit well with.

They claimed we were doing a work for god, building Jesus' church. After so many years all I saw was destruction. People who had been coming for years were leaving, visitors would come for one service and never come back. Of course it was the devil, he was fighting us all the way.
I could no longer bear it. They kept me busy for years and years. Something going on at "church" almost every night. When we got out, both my husband and I were exhausted. We literally did not leave our house at night for years! Ok, ya know occasionally we had someone's birthday or something, but other than that, we were home, exhausted trying to figure out what the hell had just happened to us.

I have been out for almost 7 years now. My husband never thinks about our time there. "Out of sight out of mind" is his mentality. Believe me I've gone rounds and rounds with him on this issue!!! My gosh I think that was the only thing I talked about for the first year I was out!!!

My regret was so deep, to realize how stupid I had been for sooo long was devastating to me.
I recently was at the doctors office and saw that he had described me as "post traumatic stress disorder" I left and just cried and cried. Yes, people who get out of abusive relationships suffer with ptsd, or people who see war suffer from ptsd, and yes, people who have been brainwashed and told how to live suffer from ptsd.