My parents have been married for 45 years. I have always seen them as a unit. Like two fingers your pointer and middle finger, close together. I have had problems with my Dad, he was never home when we were growing up, he owned a bar and bowling alley and it took alot of his time. He was not intereseted in what we were doing as kids.

I had the lead role in a play when I was 13 and asked him to come on a Friday afternoon to see it. We were doing the play on both Friday and Saturday nites but he was unable to make both of those shows. So I came up with an idea, Hey Dad you can come and see it when we do it for the school on Friday afternoon. I reminded him daily the week of, it's Friday Dad at 2pm. I did the play, Sorry Wrong Number, I had the part of the invalid woman who hears her own murder accidentally on the phone. I was on stage the entire show, I had mega lines to learn as ever scene I was in. So the day comes, and I am sure he is out there, we finish up and I go out to see what he thought. Oh my- even just remembering it now brings a sting to my eyes and heart. I looked and looked for him, thought for sure he would of waited to see me afterwards in the hall outside the auditorium. Well, yes you guess it, he did not show. I was devasted, things like these happened alot with my father.

Now fast forward two years ago, my mom suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. I rushed up to see her. She was in quite abit of pain and did not look good. I was so scared, I had always seen my mother and father as a unit, a pair, my parents.

I had to make some adjustments in my mind. My mother is not my father, she showed up and saw my things, she supported me as best as she could. My mother is a kind and sweet person, who happens to love a very flawed man. My mom got better, she is not the same as before her heart problems started, she can't do everything she used to be able to do, but I am really close to her. Last year I baked her a birthday cake and brought it to her on her special day. We had gone out to dinner to celebrate with everyone the weekend before, but I wanted to bake her a cake so I did. I see her seperate now, a woman who has a great kindness and concerned about her kids and their kids.

I am so glad I had the opportunity to see her apart from my Dad. Their marriage has always been about him, it is slowly changing and he is not the focal point. I make sure I talk to my mom weekly, I make sure she knows how much I love her and care about her. I can't lump her into just being my parents any longer, she is not my father.